


Camping and Kisses

by AngeNoir



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: (any intimate act including kissing is a taboo in public in this story), Cultural Taboo, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 00:35:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/pseuds/AngeNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili can't figure out why Kili is so upset this evening. Then again, Kili isn't being as straight-forward as he normally is, which is (understandably) confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Camping and Kisses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pimpunderthemountain](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pimpunderthemountain).



Fili and Kili are light and dark, shadow and sun, lion and a black panther that slinks along behind. It’s always the dark you look out for, Fili wants to tell them. It’s always the prankster that laughs the loudest, the clown that japes the most obvious.

 

No one listens, of course. Then again, there’s a reason that their mother braids Kili’s hair in twists that signify ‘danger’ and ‘panther’ and ‘shadow.’

Because Men can’t read braids. Men don’t see the subtle warning in the circlet of hair that wraps around Kili’s head to hold his hair back when he works in the village of Men with Fili to bring money to their mother’s pockets. The circlet is only made up of very basic braids, because Kili hasn’t achieved great feats like Fili has. Fili has defended his family from bandits, has felled one of the plains lions and brought its pelt home to Dis.

“Ori has braids.”

Fili looks up from his bowl to see Kili scowling across at Ori, who is chatting quietly with Gimli across the campfire. “Ori has studied long and hard to get those braids,” Fili points out, tugging on a lock of Kili’s hair idly. “You, brother, have managed to let loose chickens in Dwalin’s quarters when you were but thirty. That is not something one immortalizes to other warriors.”

Kili turns, and Fili recognizes an old hurt in the back of Kili’s eyes, even as Kili’s mouth turns into an easy smile and he bumps Fili - none too lightly - with his shoulder. Before Fili can ask about the ghosts in Kili’s eyes, Kili reaches up to Fili’s golden hair. “You have done great deeds. Here, and here,” he says lightly enough, curling fingers in the few braids Fili has Kili put in his beard and hair every morning. “Here, I would not call this a great deed.”

Knowing that Kili is trying to distract him, Fili still goes with the subject change, because for all that Kili is the black ice that one never sees, Kili has always been painfully honest with Fili throughout their time together. “I would say learning to speak Khuzdul and write in the runes of Mahal himself is worthy of being a great deed,” Fili replies indignantly. “Certainly it is a deed only kings and princes have ever completed, and one you have yet to master.”

With a sigh, Kili turns back to his bowl and stares quietly into it. Unsure - because Kili always voices his anger or frustration to Fili, and this quietness is unnatural - Fili leans down to try and look Kili in the eye. “Brother? What ails you so?”

“Dwalin favors Ori. And Ori returns Dwalin’s favor.”

Not sure where the line of discussion was going, Fili nods slowly. “Aye, but you can hardly blame them. They have done all but name themselves truly to each other - and that is more likely because of Ori’s youth than their shared interest. They are much attached to one another.”

“Mother says we must not name ourselves truly unless we are certain our chosen mate is worthy of holding our soul.”

Scraping up the bottom of his bowl, Fili again nods. “She speaks but wisdom.” Something occurs to him, causing an uncomfortable heat to rise in his belly. “Why do you ask? Do you wish to name yourself truly to one?”

“Kili, Ori, you’re on first watch,” Dwalin calls out, returning from the stream they are camped out by. Dwalin teaches the younger dwarves woodcraft, living off the field, and both Kili and Gimli had begged to be allowed on this trip. Pairing them together would be unwise, obviously - but Fili had expected Dwalin to pair him with Kili, so that they may share a watch together.

But Kili says nothing more, simply stands up with his bow and inclines his head to Ori.

Ori, who has come on these trips before, also stands up, patting Gimli on the head, and moves off into the forest behind Kili.

Dwalin sits down heavily by the fire and picks up the bowl Ori had set aside for him. “What bothers you?” he asks of Fili.

The only problem is that Fili does not know how to respond. He sits in silence a while, considering, and finally he says slowly, “Kili is asking me about naming one truly to another.”

Dwalin’s eyes sharpen, even as he does nothing more than take another bite of stew and bread.

“I do not know where this interest springs from. We work in the village at the base of the mountain, practicing to make items truly worthy of a dwarf, and we are rarely within Ered Luin for him to have met a young lass or lad.”

“Perhaps he simply seeks to gain knowledge of carnal acts from one experienced in the matter,” Dwalin grunts.

For some reason, that makes Fili’s cheeks flush. He had never told Kili of his few tumbles with other dwarves - male and female - because Kili had been too young to understand. “I do not see how true-naming has anything to do with carnal acts.”

“Maybe not. Perhaps Kili is simply curious about what goes on between dwarves. You might ask him during second watch, as you and Gimli take third watch.” With that, Dwalin finishes his bowl off and pulls out his sleeping pallet. Fili watches him worriedly. Why would Dwalin hint at something and then drop it, unless he knew something Fili did not know?

Fili did not know there could be something about his brother that he did not know. He does not like the feeling, and curls up in his blankets, staring up at the stars.

He wakes when, next to him, Dwalin shifts and stands up, murmuring quietly to Ori. Fili tilts his head a little to see Dwalin softly stroking Ori’s hair before guiding Ori down to his own sleeping clothes. On the other side of Fili, Kili’s warm weight appears.

More interested in Kili than Dwalin and Ori’s intimacy, Fili turns to see Kili, still frowning, curled up in blankets. Fili waits for Dwalin to leave, and then wiggles closer to Kili.

“Have I upset you, brother?” Fili whispers. “I did not mean to, truly. What can I do to make amends?”

Kili licks his lips nervously and whispers back, “Ori tells me that he just  _knew_  Dwalin was worthy of holding his soul. That he did not need to search, or find others. He - ” Here, Kili stops, a flush of anger and embarrassment crossing over his face. “He says that no one looks at him, either. Except for Dwalin.”

Worried that he knows where this is going, Fili reaches out to cup Kili’s face, the small, scruffy beard that has earned Kili much teasing. “You will grow a beard, my brother. You will be the most handsome dwarf - “

“Do not lie, Fili, not now. My nose will never grow large, my ears are too small, my face too narrow. This, I know. But Ori says that he knew, and that I will know, and sometimes the waiting for your mate to see you takes a while. Ori waited for twenty years, did you know?” Shaking his head to cut off Fili’s response, Kili continues, “I will wait. That is all I can do. It is just - harder, when I can see happiness in front of me that I do not have myself, nor will I for a long while. If ever.”

“You would be the most handsome mate, Kili,” Fili murmurs. “Whoever you are waiting for, they are an idiot for ignoring you this long.”

Kili grants Fili a small, tired smile, and then pulls his blankets closer.

Fili falls into a half-doze, the conversation playing through his dreams over and over again, like a prophecy that he cannot leave alone. When Dwalin shakes him awake and sends him off to watch with Gimli, Fili paces quietly, trying to put together his brother’s words.

At dawn, Fili stops pacing and stares back at the camp, dumbstruck.

“I’m an  _idiot_ ,” he breathes.

“You won’t hear any argument from me,” Gimli mutters, rubbing at his eyes.

Heedless of Gimli, and of remaining quiet, Fili tears off back to the camp and falls to his knees besides Kili’s side, startling the younger dwarf awake. “I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot,” Fili whispers over and over, pressing his forehead against Kili’s in the warmest show of affection he can give without being indecent. “I would be lucky, Kili, I would be  _so lucky_ , if that is what you wish - “

“What are you speaking of, brother?” Kili asks, sleep blurring his voice and holding his eyes shut.

The rush of ecstasy and excitement that drove Fili to Kili’s side fades in a sick withdrawal from his gut, and he jerks himself back, fear in his eyes. “I - I must have - mistook, something,” he chokes out. “I - I apologize - “

“Fili - ” Kili begins, and when Fili turns to run Kili throws himself at Fili’s ankles and nearly knocks Fili into the ashes of their fire. Fili does not want to stay, not when he made a fool out of himself.

Not when he allowed himself to hope, for one incandescent minute, that Kili felt the same way he did.

“ _Fili_!” Kili says, voice sharp, and finally Fili stops wrestling with Kili and just stares -

\- and Kili kisses Fili, deep and thorough and  _oh so perfect_  -

“I’ll tell your mother, see that I don’t!” Dwalin roars behind them. “Such indecent acts are not for all and sundry to see!”

Kili breaks back, cheeks flushed red, eyes dancing, and Fili can only stare in shock as his younger brother gets up and brushes dirt out of his hair. “My apologies, Dwalin,” Kili says lightly, without turning to look at their teacher. “I only needed to clearly state my intentions so that there are no more misunderstandings.”

And even though Dwalin sentences them to chop wood and cook as punishment for kissing in public, Fili cannot stop grinning.


End file.
